The Theater BUFF

Joe Gulla's "THE BRONX QUEEN" Playbill Announcement

 

BRONX QUEEN PLAYBILL ANNOUNCEMENT !!!

 

THE BRONX QUEEN

 my new show... THE BRONX QUEEN ... will be performed at THE UNITED SOLO FESTIVAL  !!!

to " LIKE " the FAN PAGE... go HERE ...

to purchase tickets... go HERE ... 

thanks guys !!!!

 

INTO THE WOODS. OPENING NIGHT. TONIGHT.

 

see you THERE !!! 

 

covering it HERE ... HERE ... and HERE ....

 

TOMORROW !!!

 

 

INTO THE WOODS -- first preview thoughts

 

 

 

gnat's entertainment

i love INTO THE WOODS... i have ALWAYS loved...

INTO THE WOODS !!!

i saw the original broadway production with my grandmother... we had FIRST ROW seats... we arrived at the theater and my grandmother started taking some kleenex out of her bag... so she rested it on the stage... actually on a jutting ramp...

within seconds the LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD character skipped out and almost kicked the bag into the audience... this terrified me... why had no one noticed this? mentioned it? i wasn't paying attention... anyway, my grandmother swiped the bag off JUST in time... it all happened so quickly...

i fell in love with the show... 

i have seen many productions over the years.... lots of cinderellas.... jacks... witches... even caught PHYLICIA RASHAD as the witch once... she was harshly criticized... but i quite enjoyed her...

not long ago, i was in a suburban supermarket... and MS. RASHAD was in line right in front of me... she placed the plastic divider between our items... smiled quickly... kindly...

in those few minutes, four people approached her and made a "mrs. huxtable/cosby" comment... i would NOT have it... right after she swiped her credit card... i leaned over and said -- "i LOVED your work in INTO THE WOODS!"... i punctuated it with solid eye contact...

she took a small breath, touched the top of my hand and said -- "thank ya, honey".. a full-blown, claire huxtable "thank ya, honey"... then she walked out!

anyway, i REALLY love INTO THE WOODS... and i was THRILLED, MOVED, ENCHANTED by this SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK production.... i was in BLISS... HEAVEN...

i had won the VIRTUAL LOTTERY, so i picked up my ticket as i was instructed... then off to the AMSTERDAM and 74th street EQUINOX... back, triceps... then back to the park...

i sat on a bench outside the theater... and was HORRIFIED when a well-dressed, seemingly intelligent man approached his friend (who was sitting next to me) and asked... with a haughty tone --- "do you understand what the show is about?"... i knew EVEN by the way he asked that he, himself, did NOT know... but, he needed to be a bitch to his friend...

the friend nervously responded -- "well, it is by SHAKESPEARE... and it is about a husband and wife who live in a forest." the haughty man nodded approvingly... with NO IRONY !!!! NONE !!!! they REALLY believed they were about to see SHAKESPEARE... lord...

why must i ALWAYS be terrified before i see INTO THE WOODS?

got to my free, VIRTUAL LOTTERY, cute seat... and was really enjoying the idea that i would see INTO THE WOODS... in an outdoor, woods-like environment... fun !!!

the set is basically the SWISS ROBINSON TREEHOUSE on steroids... with TWIG accents... real cute... when the cast arrives on stage, they give off a post-apocalyptic/cyndi lauper vibe... also cute !!!

i've been wondering for weeks... how are they going to represent MILKY WHITE?... a statue.... a puppet... a cow suit... well, it is basically a puppet... a cool puppet... realistic cow head with a body that looks like the arts and crafts thing we would do as kids... you know, when you take a blown up balloon... wrap it in twine.... glue the twine on... and then POP the balloon... that's EXACTLY what his body looks like !!!

central park... the sunset... the breeze REALLY inform the experience... the set grows more and more lovely as night falls... the audience literally gasps when they see RAPUNZEL in her tower high above the tree house... it is super dramatic and effective...

while i am discussing dramatic effects... the GIANT is rendered beautifully... i am not sure if everyone was as enchanted as i was... but i REALLY was... it is a MASSIVE MASSIVE puppet... i was riveted... 

AMY ADAMS was adorable, wonderful, spunky, believable... she was in LOVELY voice... she is a slightly less "serious" BAKER'S WIFE than JOANNA GLEASON was... all those years ago... but it is SOOOO unfair to compare... i liked her softness... i liked her transformation... and AMY can DANCE !!!

loved my AMY !!! 

KRISTINE ZBORNIK plays JACK's MOTHER... what a fun, funny... kinda raw take... she is hysterical... and moving... i mean KRISTINE ZBORNIK is ALWAYS hysterical... but what a GREAT platform for her !!! she IS.. and WILL BE... having a MOMENT doing this role!!! a "MOMENT in the woods"...

yep, i WENT there !!!

actually, KRISTINE ZBORNIK terrified me once... i was living in LA... and we met at a theater in STUDIO CITY to see a mutual friend in a show... after the show, she offered to drive me back over the HOLLYWOOD HILLS... into WEST HOLLYWOOD... it was sweet of her to offer, so i happily accepted...

we were both kinda new to the HOLLYWOOD area and neither of us knew that one particular part of LAUREL CANYON BOULEVARD was in the process of having the DOUBLE YELLOW LINE repainted... she thought she was driving me on a ONE-WAY street... a speeding, oncoming VAN taught us otherwise...

there was screaming, careening and recalibrating... but, we escaped unscathed... thank god.... because it would be HORRIBLE if VIRTUAL LOTTERY winners... like me... were deprived of her BRILLIANT performance at the DELACORTE...

PRO-ZBORNIK... always... thrilled that she is performing in a city with a good mass transit system !!!

the WOLF... oh man... HOT HOT HOT !! but, not corny HOT !!! like, smoldering, slow, undulating, yet stationary HOT !!! he gets RED RIDING HOOD to take off her sexy red motorcycle (vespa?) helmet...

like i said.. HOT !!!

i had the CHILLS for a LOT of the show... those REAL "i am LOVING this show" chills... ACT 2 is ESPECIALLY excellent !!!

i hope they reconsider the witch's TRANSFORMATION moment... i wondered how they would do it... but, when the chorus members came out and attacked her with leaf blowers (i'm serious!) and they appeared to tackle her... then half undress her... then she had to sorta turn her own outfit inside out... it seemed prolonged... it just felt TOO clunky !!! ditch the gardening equipment, surround her... and HELP her dress... seems an easy enough fix !!!

also, visiting RAPUNZEL is a THREE STEP PROCESS... the narrator mimics the climb, the climber climbs a bit, then is attached to a separate bungee cord and then has to "BUNGEE"  to her...

i'd be cool with the MIMIC and the visitor simply APPEARING inside her SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON upscale hut !!!

also...

when a CERTAIN character dies... they sorta wander away, vanish, reappear and then get attached to the BUNGEE apparatus... i was TERRIFIED for this wonderful and talented person... a simple BLACKOUT would work MUCH more effectively !!!

but, then again, it is my LOT in life to be terrified before, during and after any production of INTO THE WOODS...

ok, i will let you guys go !!!

THANK YA, HONEY !!!

oh wait, my BLOG TITLE...

i forgot...

at the FIRST PREVIEW performance, DONNA MURPHY... who plays the WITCH.... starts to sing LAST MIDNIGHT... and she starts to cough in an odd manner... 

i am pretty sure a GNAT flew into her mouth... i had good enough seats that i can definitely confirm that SOMETHING flew in... i don't have a BROAD knowledge of insects... to me, it goes BEE, FLY, MOSQUITO, GNAT... from LARGEST to SMALLEST...

i am calling GNAT here...

it was a bit of a battle... but, ms murphy got on track... and finished the song in GORGEOUS voice...

the natural breeze... blowing the cast's costumes... comes across dynamic, sexy, beautiful... LOVELY residuals of an OUTDOOR production...

if you look at it this way...

GNAT INGESTION is a SMALL price to pay !!!

talk soon...

 

THE THEATER BUFF is... BACK !!!

and i am going to see INTO THE WOODS...

for YOU... tonight !!!

 

yep...

i won the SHAKESPEARE in the PARK lottery... for the the FIRST PREVIEW performance...

thanks PUBLIC THEATER !!!

don't worry though... i'll rush RIGHT home tonight and tell you ALL about it !!!

well, ok... i'll probably have a post-performance martini... then rush home !!!

INTO THE WOODS is one of my TOP THREE musicals of ALL TIME !!! so i am SUPER excited....

but, don't worry...

i am seeing it WITH... and AMONG... the stars...

for YOU !!!

 

 

LYSISTRATA JONES -- first preview thoughts

 

me and mrs. jones

 

 i don't know... i'm a little confused... but, then again, i'm not...

for the most part, i liked it... but, well, i got REALLY bored in the middle of ACT ONE... like head wobbly, 11th grade "when is class going to end?!" bored...

the same things kept happening... a bunch of cheerleaders would come out and do an odd dance... and then a bunch of basketball players would come out and do an odd dance... and then they would ALL dance together... and then a plus-size, african american woman would come out and belt...

repeat... toss basketballs around... repeat.. brighly colored costumes... upbeat mediocre songs... repeat... minimal story... repeat...

lotsa high school girls in the audience...

repeat...

lotsa gay men too...

repeat...

oh ok... we are nearing the end of ACT ONE... oh WOW... the chick that plays LYSISTRATA ( Patti Murin ) is singing a pretty incredible number... wow, it is long... but i am AWAKE now... i might even care about her character... she is REALLY singing the hell out of this song...

ok... i am staying... i was going to leave... but, no... i am staying...

and well...

ACT TWO is kinda great... i like the story... it is meaningful... the songs are better in ACT TWO... i am NOT sleepy...

cute guys... often shirtless... interesting couplings... surprise twists...

repeat...

oh and here it comes... they are FINALLY going to sing the song from the website... " GIVE IT UP! "... i like this song... and the message... and it is ON the website... so i can hear it when i want...

oh wow... and i just figured out what is wrong with the show... it JUST came to me...

it REALLY shouldn't be on BROADWAY... it is a cute, energetic, fun, quirky, meaningful, crowd-pleasing show... but, it should be in a nice off-broadway theater... give it a little CHERRY LANE action... LUCILLE LORTEL it !!!!

that's IT... i DID like it... i REALLY did... i just did not like that they spread it thin in a HUGE BROADWAY house... that's all... fair enough...

LYSISTRATA and THE THEATER BUFF... yep...

we got a THING goin' on...

BONNIE & CLYDE -- first preview thoughts

 

kindlin'

 

i'm tellin' you that stage is gonna BLOW... geez... it's gonna BLOW... 

the set for BONNIE & CLYDE is planks of wood... planks and planks of wood... the floor is wood planks... the walls are wood planks... the set pieces are wood planks... if they can involve a WOOD PLANK... they will... and they do... i promise...

it looks VERY "sauna in somebody's townhouse"-like... and then it starts to feel dry... and, well... WOODEN... because it IS ... and then you imagine that ANY small flicker... any small spark would LITERALLY set the WHOLE damn stage at the (annoyingly named) Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre on FIRE... and, if you are BOTHERING to imagine all this (and there IS time to... because things get BORING!)... you imagine it going up FAST... you can ALMOST hear the resonating " PUFF "...

the fabled PUFF OF SMOKE...

 wow... and yeah, i said it quickly... but, um... god bless the Schoenfeld's... bless 'em... uh, you can pretty much GUARANTEE that NOBODY says... "we are seeing a show at "the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre"... really... name ONE person that says that... name them !!! where, certainly, there were many people... over MANY years...  that said... we saw it at THE PLYMOUTH... MANY... again, i promise... i do... i really promise you this...

anyway, there is an OFFICIAL broadway TREND happening... and this show confirms it... fully OFFICIAL... 

there is a JACUZZI on stage... YES... like in GODSPELL... at one point, members of the cast lift (some of the) planks of wood to expose a small pool of water... and a cast member is dunked... uh huh, another body of water on a BROADWAY stage...

how they will incorporate a JACUZZI into the upcoming revival of PORGY and BESS?!...  we can ONLY guess... but i have NO DOUBT that PORGY will be dealing with JACUZZI issues... after all, it is a FULL ON fall 2011 BROADWAY trend !!! 

i can see BESS showing PORGY the JACUZZI WARNING... 

Due to the high temperature of the water in the spa/Jacuzzi, generally 104 degrees, as well as the extreme heat in the Sauna, you should check with your doctor to make sure that it is safe for you and your guests to use these facilities.

it's the JACUZZI WARNING that GEORGE GERSHWIN forgot to compose...

ok...

the GOOD...

these are the TWO MALE leads... 

dreamy... talented... keep the audience's interest... on ALL levels... love them !!! hot... great.. truly hot and GREAT !!!

nothing against their female counterparts... but, these guys are SERIOUSLY fun to watch... and i REALLY DO mean that on all levels... great, fun, enjoyable energy...

the BAD...

there is ONE woman i would like to comment on... the woman who plays BONNIE's mom... it is actually a bit odd... she is horribly miscast... when she enters... it REALLY appears that she is in a high school production...

the one where a 15 year old girl has to play an elderly woman... it is STRIKINGLY odd... at first she seems like a minor character... but she does get some MAJOR moments and she DOES... she REALLY DOES... well, she clashes against the rest of the cast... tell me if you agree with me... she just seems off... like a VERY young woman playing an older character... if she WAS a 15 year old girl playing the role... i would be minorly impressed... but, honestly, even then i would think... "couldn't they find a better 15 year old girl"... just sayin'... maybe it is just me... feel free to comment...

overall, the show is just kinda OK... i REALLY wanted to like it... the story is interesting enough... and the VERY first song made me think... "cool, i want the CD"... but, sadly, i do NOT want the CD... and i would not recommend this show.. there is nothing SPECIAL about it... it is like SISTER ACT... which is MIDDLING... only LESS fun... not a GOOD sign... 

not worth the money... just a fact...

if someone won two tickets to this show at a church bazaar and gave them to you... and you went... you wouldn't be MAD at the people who re-gifted a church bazaar prize to you... but, you would be WARY of these people for AT LEAST a year after...

somewhat suspicious...

for, at least...

a year... 

JOE GULLA, THE THEATER BUFF – INTERVIEWED FOR PARAGON MEN

PARAGON MEN chose me as their
NOVEMBER " SPOTLIGHT " ... 

you can find the interview RIGHT HERE...

to " LIKE " the " GARBO " FAN PAGE... go HERE...

" DY " info... well, i'll have that for you in a MINUTE !!!

ok...

 

HUGH JACKMAN, BACK ON BROADWAY -- first preview thoughts

 

papa, can HUGH hear me ?

 

i've failed my readers... i've failed myself...

i was unable to attend HUGH JACKMAN, BACK ON BROADWAY's first preview... this is MY JOB... i KNOW you depend on me...

but, please understand...

many things kept me from HUGH tonight... many... 

i could pour my heart out to you... i could... you'd learn more about me... and, in your listening, i might learn something about you... but, the truth is...

i'm not even sure who you are and that would be strange all around... i mean, how much do you really need to know about me? we shouldn't be rushing into anything... best to take things slow...

but, i DO apologize... and i offer TWO acts of contrition...

1. i will post my ALL-TIME favorite picture of HUGH JACK MAN... i swear, i will... i swear... in fact, i will post it RIGHT now... right here... right under these words... here goes...

ok, that was easy enough...

2. number 2... is a LOT more personal... i will share words, i will share feelings... not quite poetry... more, as the star of SHANGHAI SURPRISE would say... LIKE A PRAYER... 

a prayer... as i face the scrutiny of my fellow theater bloggers... a prayer... as i await the wrath of my disappointed readership...

a simple YENTYL-esquian prayer...

 

Can all the words in all the blogs
Help me to face what lies ahead?

The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller;

The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright...

Papa, how I love HUGH...
Papa, how I need HUGH.

Papa, how I missed HUGH's
Goddamn FIRST PREVIEW night...

<flicker... flicker... puff>

again...sorry guys ! we'll always have GODSPELL !

GODSPELL -- first preview thoughts

 

it's ELECTRIC...

 

ok, well, i innocently walked into the CIRCLE IN THE SQUARE theater... innocent, calm... i was going to see GODSPELL... sorta harmless...

yes, i WAS concerned that this was, in some way, STILL related to the PAPERMILL PLAYHOUSE production i had seen a few years ago... i did NOT like that production... many people did... i did NOT...

i remember that one of my friend's ACTUALLY got MAD at me for not liking it... i was, like -- it DID NOT move me... it DID NOT inspire me... and the performances, for the most part, were MASTURBATORY...

this GREATLY annoyed him... anyway...

first...

i thoroughly enjoyed walking into the theater... the simple set and the way the place was lit was SOOO appealing... should you end up seeing this production (i DO NOT recommend that you do!)... but should you END UP there... you will ENJOY the pre-show lighting... EVERYONE looked kinda SEXY... it is just THAT kind of lighting... everyone is sitting, wandering and leaning... and the lighting just does GREAT FAVORS...

also, there is a SIMPLE, SLOW dripping of water that comes from the celing and lands in a mini pool on the stage... drip... drip... drip... you can't keep your eyes off of it... DRIPS are usually causes for concern... or action... this DRIP is FEATURED... LIT WELL... this DRIP is HAVING its MOMENT...

cool DRIP... cool people... COOL lighting...

next thing i know...

MY HEAD EXPLODED !!!

i am serious... my HEAD EXPLODED...

i never undestood what this expression meant... but now, unfortunately, i DO... it would be fruitless for me to explain what it is like to HAVE your explode... if yours HAS exploded, you will understand what i am talking about... if not, i can ONLY explain when and why MINE did...

the show started... an URGENT woman walks on the stage and is holding an open umbrella... she is NO WHERE near the DRIP... so it is a GRATUITOUS umbrella-holding... listen, seriously... that is just plain ol' BAD LUCK... why you would want to needlessly incorporate that into a show is BEYOND me... theater people are superstitious... we can't say "GOOD LUCK"... but we can have open UMBRELLAs in shows ?! i mean, SINGIN IN THE RAIN... ok... but GODSPELL, i don't know...

just sayin...

ok, well things were moving forward... nothing great... just ok... when ALL OF A SUDDEN... a pixie, waify, ballerina girl starts to sing DAY BY DAY... who doesn't enjoy DAY BY DAY... it is a sweet song... and has ALWAYS been a lovely GODSPELL moment... all these years later, i was hoping to have someone sing it... well, just sing it calmly and resonatingly... its already a "WIN" of a song... you can't do MUCH wrong...

well, for NO APPARENT reason... NONE... all of a sudden, the WHOLE CAST is doing... i swear... i am not joking...

THE ELECTRIC SLIDE...

the FULL-BLOWN... ELECTRIC SLIDE...

for a LONG time... no IRONY, no REASON...

i thought... WHY? WHAT IS GOING ON? AM I....

then... MY HEAD EXPLODED!!! it was the ONLY appropriate response...

a little later... i was back... i stayed for the whole show... i endured it... when i think back.. i just see FLASHES... i will share them... they are fragmented... random... but they DID happen... 

ok...

one

just as the show is about to start... the lights dim... and LATE-COMERS begin arriving... they trample over you... and they are carrying something... 

well... these are NOT late-comers... they are the band/orchestra... the band/orchestra sit... scattered... and separate... among the audience... if you are lucky, YOU may sit next to an oboe...

these poor guys can't even hang together... and they are harassed by audience members at intermission... give this a month... this is FORM OVER FUNCTION gone AWRY !!!

two

at one point, they FORCE an audience member to play charades... the girl they FORCED was, clearly, an actress... and she was OVERDOING her CLUE-GIVING... anyway, she was chewing gum in a gross way... and one of the actors IGNORED her clues and kept saying "BUBBLICIOUS"...

ha!!! that was my SECOND FAVORITE PART of the WHOLE show... after the DRIP...

three

during intermission i went to the restroom, no one was talking about the show... suddenly, i heard a guy behind me say "it went REALLY fast"... so i thought... OK... people are LIKING the show...

turns out.... he was talking about the REST ROOM line!!! he was right, by the way!

four

ok, this is ODD... there was one actress that stood out... she was NATURAL, you "felt" her... she sang well... just a STAND OUT... she wore a skirt that was gold... like a gold lame' grass skirt... well, i RAN out of the theater when the cast started taking bows... oddly... iN THE LOBBY... DURING THE CURTAIN CALL... she was sitting on a chair... and WEEPING... there was a lady with a headset near her... she was not doing anything... and there was NO indication of what happened... and NO INDICATION as to why she could NOT be sitting and weeping somewhere else... in private...

again, this was DURING the curtain call... i have NO IDEA what happened to this girl...and the rest if the audience was going to be as SURPRISED as i was about her sitting in the lobby weeping... i hope the HEADSETTED lady eventually helped her... i was confused and concerned... i just wanted an EASY break...

five

there is a CRINGE-Y, CLOYING steve jobs comment in the show... it is just STUCK in there... and it gets corny applause... odd and nauseating.. GRATUITOUS AS CAN BE...

six

is the muscular guy the same guy who played JESUS in the PAPERMILL production... if so... why was he demoted? was it him? the guy who plays JESUS is EXACTLY like the claymation puppet in RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER... the one who wants to be a dentist... only the puppet is way more interesting... why was the muscular, talented guy demoted?

seven

oh, finally, the URGENT umbrella-holding girl sings BY MY SIDE... it is hard to explain... BUT... she sings BY MY SIDE in the most THREATENING, FORBODING, SCARY way... she points at JESUS and seems to be ANTAGONIZING him...

gotta be PEBBLE IN HER SHOE rage !!!

eight

oh and, um, the LAST SUPPER is held around a JACUZZI!

yep...